hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
