...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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