Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize
