Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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