It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
