ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
All the doctor said was why
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
