I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
