no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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