so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
