We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
she peed on how many people?
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
