Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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