i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Randomize
