He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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