Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
