i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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