Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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