please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
She's not a foreskin expert like you
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
