she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
She bit a glass in half.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize