There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
where does the pee come out of this thing
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
