Christians are straight up FREAKS
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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