I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Randomize
