Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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