i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
