i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Randomize
