hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
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