He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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