So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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