Me. At least after what I've been through.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Randomize
