and you said cock pushups were impossible
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize