How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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