Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
