Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Randomize
