I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
