You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
