my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
she told me i tasted like america
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
