the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
