I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
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