that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
they're like a gay fantastic four
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
