i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
