I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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