I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
