It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
