ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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