So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Randomize
