talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
