we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
