How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
