You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
