Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
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