yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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