it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
