Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
