drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
