Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Mom said you looked used
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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