I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
