I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
