if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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