I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Randomize
