The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Randomize
