Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
