ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Randomize
