I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
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