I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize