last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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