Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
