I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
